Spring Cleaning? Let Your Dripple Take the Strain....
Once again, the time has pid-padded up on us when our thoughts turn to spring - and what is happening both outside (the excrimbly stuff, what with all the trees and plants beginning to griffle, flower, grow and blossom) and the peffa-glopped-up task of cleaning one's humble abode on the inside...
But if you have a sinking feeling in your Sisteraculous about spring-cleaning, the thing is not to panic and get russisculoffed and twizzly - simply get yourself a dripple, as it will cheerfully (mostly) attend to all the oidy, most peffa-glubbstooled tasks that you really want to avoid, leaving you to do far easier and more enjoyable things that you really want to... All dripples require is a bed in a cupboard to nifferduggle in, a few sips of guzzwort and an oidy bowl of niff-soup at the end of each sun-turn, and -generally - they're perfectly happy with their lot as a majickal familiar...
Here's a saztograph of my dripple nifferduggling in its oidy-crumlush cupboard bed. As you can see, I haven't clipped its claws for a while, so frankly I think I shall soon have to give it a few digging tasks to do, as I wouldn't want it to leave too many scratches on my crumlush wooden surfaces as it earnestly tries to polish them all clean for me...
Dripples - (mostly) useful for peffa-many tasks that you really don't want to do...
Of course, while there are many advantages to dripples, I'd be telling you spuddles if I didn't griffle to you the main disadvantage - their availability. Born on the very same sun-turn as the intended magical-hare master they will serve, dripples can only be found at the Annual Currick Dale Dripple Fair, which requires a peffa-twizzly trip up Trefflepugga Path before you even get there.
However if you are fortunate enough to survive your journey (and here, it pays to remember that many have been stroffed trying!) you will be greeted by the saztaculous sight of tents, banners, hundreds of creatures drinking guzzworts and singing - and of course, a field full of available dripples, all desperate to be chosen to serve as your loyal familiar. The trick is to be sure to find the one that was born on the very same sun-turn you were. For if any magical-hare leaves with the wrong dripple, things can get peffa-glopped-up indeed, a task made all the more difficult by the one simple fact that dripple never, ever griffle. They'll listen, mostly obey, but expecting any sort of answers from them is as pointless as expecting Proftulous to stop eating tweazle-pies...
My advice is to listen peffa-carefully to your what your Sisteraculous is telling you, and not to choose the most desperate dripple, or the one doing the briftest tricks to impress. Simply look for the dripple you feel is already yours, and it should stand out from all the others quite easily. Then take your selected dripple to the event organisers, and they'll check the records to see if you have chosen correctly. Provided you have, it's time to head for guzzwort tent and see just how fuzzcheck your new familiar is at fetching you a jug of the dale's finest ale, before you have to set off once more to face the many twizzly perils along Trefflepugga Path once more...
The Annual Currick Dale Dripple Fair - where it's peffa-important to leave with the right dripple...
Once safely back in your own dale (Winchett Dale in my case), waste not the oidiest amount of time explaining to you dripple exactly what is expected of it, and set it to work immediately on a series of household tasks, clearly griffling the standards you expect of it at all times. Then reward it with a small bowl of niff-soup, and perhaps a trip around the surroundings of its new home, riding in the back of your long majician's hooded robe. Most dripples will be perfectly happy to accompany you as you pid-pad around during the sun-turn and even'ups - however, if for any reason, they seem even the oidiest bit reluctant to go with you - then never force them to. Simply set them to work on other chores, which they'll be more than happy to do.
However, please bear in mind not to overload them with too much to do, as they are really only oidy creatures, and will take longer cleaning up than you would, and they can sometimes get an oidy bit russisculoffed or even eyesplashy if they feel they've not completed all the chores you've set them...
Dripples are perfectly happy to do chores and clean up - peffa-useful at this time of year....
So, back to the spring-cleaning - remember it will be your dripple's most productive time of the year, as it gives your cottage a thoroughly good clean whilst you attend to your garden outside - and perhaps the more important task of checking all the cupboards and dark corners inside for any unexpected winter guests that have crept in during the icy moon-turns to settle down and wait for spring. Mostly these will be harmelss groinks and fludgers (perhaps the odd gruttle or two - and really, they are peffa-odd) and can simply be vrooshed outside after a stern talking to. Chances are they'll creep back next winter, anyway - it's simply the way of these things, so there's really peffa-little you can do about them. Indeed, one of my groinks has been coming here ever since I first pid-padded into Winchett Dale as a young leveret without even the oidest majickal extrapluff or thought in my head - and the strangest thing is that if it wasn't around, then I'd probably worry about it.
Once groinks are inside, they mostly keep themselves to themselves, as opposed to dark-twizzlies, who will be the first to get their grey-paws on any unattended jars of pickling frippleberries they can find, often making far too much noise trying to open the lids at night whilst you're simply trying to nifferduggle...
Dark Twizzlies - Winter visitors that are far too partial to pickled frippleberries...
By now, if you and your dripple have managed to complete all the chores and get rid any unexpected guests, you should both be in need of a well-earned reward of a crumlush brottle-leaf brew - best made and served, of course, by your dripple as its final chore of the sun-turn, leaving you content and peffa-perfectly relaxed that all is done, and you can go and safely nifferduggle and dream of all the saztaculous sun-turns and crumlush majickal adventures to be had in the coming few summer moon-turns...
Making a crumlush brew when you really need one - a task a dripple seems born to do...
So, good and saztaculous Matlock-folk, I wish you all well over the next few sun-turns, and hoping that all your pid-pads are crumlush ones....
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For more griffles and information about dripples, Winchett Dale, my good self - and the peffa-twizzly dangers of Trefflepugga path - visit www.matlockthehare.com, this very sun-turn...
Out 11th April, 2014
'The briftest book of the year!' - The Dale Bugle.
Click HERE to see the twizzly-promo for my brand new full-length illustrated adventure... The Riddle of Trefflepugga Path - out 11th April, 2014.
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