Spring in Winchett Dale...
It may seem an oidy bit difficult to believe this Sluffsday morn's, as we lay shivering in our beds, but Spring has peffa-definitely arrived. And for those of us in the dale, it makes for a busy time. Well, some of us - that is, those of us who see Spring as a saztaculous time to welcome back the crumlush greenery, the longer even'ups, lighter morn's, and the chance to see the first oidy shoots of Summer pid-padding gently towards us. Others, it has to be griffled (of which Serraptomus, Fragus, Proftulous and Shriffle - to name but a pawful) see precious little difference in the seasons, somehow managing to spend each year-turn merely pursuing the things they love the brightest - which in Proftulous' case largely means seeking out tweazle-nests for his 'slurpilicious tweazle-pies' (his griffles, not mine, as I've never eaten even the oidiest part of a tweazle in my life, although Proftulous will swear to you that he once dropped a tweazle tail into my niff-soup when my hare's back was turned) to see him through another peffa-lazy sun-turn.
However, in the dale, Spring is my peffa-favourite time of the year, and I tend to leave my potionary vrooshing duties to spend more time outside in my cottage-garden, propagating and planting, tending my niffplants to ensure a rich Autumn harvest...
Harvesting Niffs - should be done with caution and politeness.
...which can be a tricky business, and should be only attempted at night and NEVER under a full-moon - for although niffs themselves are saztaculously slurpilicious, the plants can tend to get a little russisculoffed if they know you are picking their crumlush fruit - so always pick a dark even'up, and check they are nifferduggling before approaching them peffa-quietly to collect your shindinculous harvest. And even though it's unlikely that they will hear you, I find it's just simply good manners to whispgriffle a 'thank-you' to each sleeping plant - after all, methinks that manners cost nothing (I've tried explaining this to Proftulous many times, but as he hasn't the oidiest understanding of 'cost' or 'nothing', they tend to be wasted griffles inside his ganticusly yechus ears).
Preparation, I find, is key to many things in life - and tending to your garden is no different really, from anything else. Within my garden, I have four colley-rocks, which are always worth a good griffle to if I'm thinking of making any improvements, or planting new plants. After all, colley-rocks are thought to have been here in the dales well before the first ever slidger squiffled and flupped out of Thinking Lake - so their ancient wisdom is well worth consulting. However, one thing to be aware of is that for all their knowledge, they can be peffa-opinionated if they want to be, and won't hold back from griffling to you just how glopped-up your carefully thought-out planting plans and ideas are. The trick, I find, with a colley-rock, is to listen to it as peffa-patiently as you can, take what bits of wisdom you want from the griffversation, then gently turn it the other way, so that it can't really see just what you're doing in the rest of your garden...
Colley Rocks - useful garden mentors, but can go on a bit...
I've often been asked of the merits or otherwise of propagation - especially of some of the more argumentative seedlings that should be planted out as fully griffling young plants at this time of the year. My advice (and please remember, this may or may not work for you, depending on your potionary size, the direction it faces, and the individual plants themselves) is to separate the argumentative seedlings from the quieter ones, and leave them in the darkest corner of the potionary, and only give them ONE thing to argue about (this year, I asked them all to consider what it would be brifter to be - the trunk of a tree, or the branches? - and this kept them quietly arguing and griffling for two moon-turns, without them ever realising they were actually growing) - this should help enormously with giving you a quieter potionary, and a healthy set of griffling plants. Simply remember to keep them well-watered, and try not to listen for too long to their naive explanations of the argument you have set them to griffle about - they are only oidy youngsters, after all...
Propagation - recommended to stop arguing seedlings.
If all has gone as saztaculously well as expected, you should be ready to start planting round about now, and after all those sun-turns spent in pots, there's nothing brifter that young plants like than finally getting out into the garden - their very own 'great-wide world'. And here, it 's worth remembering that as their magical-propagator, you are also duty-bound to be their garden guardian and general custodian, too. Consult the colley-rocks as to the briftest spot for each plant, and water them well in, remembering to griffle to them that good behaviour is expected of them at all times, and they are to be courteous to visitors, too.
And then it's time for you to have yourself a well earned brottle-leaf brew and congratulate yourself on a job well done - before looking forward to seeing your garden slowly begin to grow and flower in the coming few weeks...
(for more information about the flora and fauna of Winchett Dale - click here - to see what you can find that may well be growing in a garden peffa-near to you...)
Have a peffa-saztaculous sun-turn, all you shindinculously good folk out in The Great Beyond...
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